I don't exactly have time for a post right now, but here goes.
My day started at 6am, how about you? ->Insert weak smile here.<-
Life has thrown quite a few challenges my way, that I could not have anticipated or dreamed up in the worst of my nightmares. Some very serious circumstances within my family and personal life have taken a toll that I do not have the emotional or mental change for. If it was only school I had to deal with right now, I would be fine. A few steps down beyond my faith and family lies my love for Graphic Design, so pushing through this would have been frustrating but good. Very much like back in the day when I was still sparring and doing weapons training. Yes, it was painful and tiring. Reflecting back on Sensei saying to me while we were sparring not to give up or tap out, challenged me then to keep striking and pushing forward. My only weakness was I would always get too much into the fight and would be far more aggressive than defensive. Which is ironic when I think about it now. But it does give me some encouragement now. I owe a lot to him for seeing the leader behind the shy, apologetic-for-living 12 year old, but enough of memory lane.
Life carries on with or without us, we just have to choose to go with the flow. These circumstances have left me nothing short of over all exhausted. Crumpled in a pile of papers, assignments and exams, I find my mind wandering to a gray nowhere more often than not. Days like this can eat at your soul if you let them.
So needless to say, I am trying to find a shelter. Resting, sleeping and trying to pull all my pieces back together. I know my Mum has been encouraging me to get away, but with my projects, commissions and various other responsibilities, I can foresee myself staying here. Which really isn't helping me out of this box. Life has never been easy for me. I have always had to fight, work and pursue what I want with every inch of vim and vigor that I have got. Too bad that up and left me about three weeks ago, huh? What I needed so desperately to make it through to the end of this semester with everything done and in tact has slipped away.
Thankfully I have kind and understanding teachers who have extended my submission period, so I can at least get my projects in and done at a later date. I am so thankful for that. I also have some dear friends who have been so good to me as well. I am so very lucky. I also have some friends that mean well, but have given me stones when I needed bread, if you know what I mean. I need to remember when I get that sinking feeling about saying something, knowing full well the result, to just shut my mouth. Forget being rude, it is for my own protection. Although I should really know that by now...
Well, I have been up for about 4 hours now, had one up of tea and am working through a coffee right now, so in the best of situations, I will be able to rock my Business English exam this afternoon. God knows all I can do is hope for the best, because I am currently wading through the awful right now.
People always say it could be worse, which is true. But why can't we try to hope for the better? Have you ever wondered how that outlook change our lives?
With a heavy heart, but light and soaring wishes, I bid thee, good-day.
Emily
My day started at 6am, how about you? ->Insert weak smile here.<-
Life has thrown quite a few challenges my way, that I could not have anticipated or dreamed up in the worst of my nightmares. Some very serious circumstances within my family and personal life have taken a toll that I do not have the emotional or mental change for. If it was only school I had to deal with right now, I would be fine. A few steps down beyond my faith and family lies my love for Graphic Design, so pushing through this would have been frustrating but good. Very much like back in the day when I was still sparring and doing weapons training. Yes, it was painful and tiring. Reflecting back on Sensei saying to me while we were sparring not to give up or tap out, challenged me then to keep striking and pushing forward. My only weakness was I would always get too much into the fight and would be far more aggressive than defensive. Which is ironic when I think about it now. But it does give me some encouragement now. I owe a lot to him for seeing the leader behind the shy, apologetic-for-living 12 year old, but enough of memory lane.
Life carries on with or without us, we just have to choose to go with the flow. These circumstances have left me nothing short of over all exhausted. Crumpled in a pile of papers, assignments and exams, I find my mind wandering to a gray nowhere more often than not. Days like this can eat at your soul if you let them.
So needless to say, I am trying to find a shelter. Resting, sleeping and trying to pull all my pieces back together. I know my Mum has been encouraging me to get away, but with my projects, commissions and various other responsibilities, I can foresee myself staying here. Which really isn't helping me out of this box. Life has never been easy for me. I have always had to fight, work and pursue what I want with every inch of vim and vigor that I have got. Too bad that up and left me about three weeks ago, huh? What I needed so desperately to make it through to the end of this semester with everything done and in tact has slipped away.
Thankfully I have kind and understanding teachers who have extended my submission period, so I can at least get my projects in and done at a later date. I am so thankful for that. I also have some dear friends who have been so good to me as well. I am so very lucky. I also have some friends that mean well, but have given me stones when I needed bread, if you know what I mean. I need to remember when I get that sinking feeling about saying something, knowing full well the result, to just shut my mouth. Forget being rude, it is for my own protection. Although I should really know that by now...
Well, I have been up for about 4 hours now, had one up of tea and am working through a coffee right now, so in the best of situations, I will be able to rock my Business English exam this afternoon. God knows all I can do is hope for the best, because I am currently wading through the awful right now.
People always say it could be worse, which is true. But why can't we try to hope for the better? Have you ever wondered how that outlook change our lives?
With a heavy heart, but light and soaring wishes, I bid thee, good-day.
Emily
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