Reflections on Christmas #1: The Grinch who hated Christmas

There are some days that I catch myself drowning in the impossibles. My arms aren't big enough to grasp and take hold of every breaking heart at this time of year, but I've had a few. They are the hearts that are missing someone, are exhausted and overwhelmed with memories. They honor me with their tears, their honest tight hugs and weary smiles.

I see presents under a tree, and often I see burdens, rather than blessings. The burdens of debt, expectations and the gifts we ache for that are missing under the tree year after year.

So often we politely smile, and shake our jingle bells hard enough to drown out the sound of the pain in our own hearts. I know I have had my fair share of moments where I felt like the heroin addict on the steps of a rehab center. It hurts too much to turn around and step into a journey. You are frozen in place, very afraid.

So today, I feel pain. I feel sorrow. I feel helpless. And I believe it is all part of our journey into Christmas. Jesus came as a helpless human being. Filled with the same fleshy and fragile hopes we have. God's grief and sorrow at the very thought of being separated from us, reminds me of the fleeting moments I think about loosing my loved ones. We cry out. We can't begin to even wrap our minds around it.

To every person who ever had a miserable Christmas. To every person who hates all that Christmas stands for and get's called the "Office Grinch.", today you have my heart-felt compassion. When we mock someone for not being "in the Spirit" we forget that there is a moment they are in. Forced to relive each time Rudolph surfaces. Every jolly Santa and smiling baby Jesus reminds them of the baby they lost, or the father who isn't going to be around this Christmas.

To you, and all of you I send my love. My hope and prayer is that this year would be filled with gracious smiles, open arms and patient ears. That you too, in your bleak moments would have someone run up to you and give you a huge hug and say "Where have you been? I've missed you!"

Instant, compassionate, season-less love. Christmas.